Lemon Curd Crumble Bars

These deliciously zingy, crumbly bars are to die for. Bright and tangy lemon curd sandwiched between a buttery biscuit base and a nutty, oaty crumble layer. Simply brew up a pot of Earl Grey and enjoy.

Cake pit stops are vital for any day out, don't you agree?  For me, it simply isn't a successful outing if we haven't stopped for a spot of tea and cake.  A few weeks ago, Kris and I were on one of our many antique hunting trips (I saw we, I mean me while he follows me through dusty piles of vintage kitchenware, grumbling under his breath) when we passed the cutest little cake shop.  Obviously it's against the law to be British and ignore tea and cake so in we went.  Instantly my eyes went straight to a pile of lemon shortbread crumble bars. Not other cake mattered to me in that instance, this was the sweet treat for me. So I ordered myself a bar and a cup of Earl Grey (Kris had something mile high and covered with chocolate, standard) and settled down by the window to enjoy my spoils.  Needless to say, dear reader, it was crap! It tasted like it had been sat out since the dawn of time, cardboard would have packed a better punch than this sorry affair.  Is there anything more disappointing?   I left, deflated and unsatisfied, with a solemn vow never to return and to make my own version at home. A version that is not, indeed, crap.  Well, I think I nailed it!

A super buttery shortbread base, laced with lemon zest topped with creamy lemon curd before an oaty, crumble layer is added. Screw your cardboard cakes, this sucker has lemony goodness in every mouthful.

I just love these bars, not only are they super simple to make but I always seem to have the ingredients to hand. I mean, if you don't constantly have a jar of lemon curd in your cupboard, can we even be friends?

Lemon Curd Crumble Bars
(adapted from Waitrose Magazine)

Ingredients:

• 170g unsalted butter, cut into cubes
• 285g plain flour
• 75g caster sugar
• 1/2tsp salt
• 1/2tsp baking powder
• 1 large, free range egg yolk
• 1 lemon zested
• 50g unsalted butter, chilled and cut into cubes
• 20g demerera sugar
• 25g rolled oats
• 20g flaked almonds
• 20g walnuts, roughly chopped
• 325g jar of best quality lemon curd

Cooking Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 175°C, grease and line a 22cm square tin with baking parchment. In a food processor, pulse together the butter and flour until soft crumbs form. Stir in the caster sugar and salt, then remove 1 /3 of the mixture and set aside in a bowl.
2. Add the baking powder, egg yolk and lemon zest to the remaining mixture in the food processor and continue to pulse until combined. Tip into the baking tin and press down to form an even layer. Bake for 15 minutes, then allow to cool for 10 minutes.
3. Meanwhile, add the demerara sugar, oats and nuts to the reserved mixture with the butter and add 1tbsp water. Using your fingers rub the butter into the dry mixture until it's all nice and chunky.
4. Spread the lemon curd over the biscuit base, then top with the crumble mixture. Bake for 20 minutes, or until lightly golden. Remove and allow to cool completely in the tin.
5. Remove from the tin and slice into bars. 

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Jaffa Cake Slutty Brownies

What do you get when you cross a slutty brownie and a Jaffa Cake? These utterly filthy specimens, that's what. I mean, I dunno what on Earth I was thinking when I came up with this one but bloody hell am I proud of my self.  Jaffa Cake Slutty Brownies, stand up and take a bow. Your public awaits.

For these saucy little buggers I replaced the traditional Oreo cookie with a Jaffa Cake. As if that wasn't bad enough I also spooned globs of shreadless marmalade (orange curd would work too) around the biscuits (not cake, biscuit. I will fight you) then topped it off with a chocolate orange brownie layer. Hot diggedy dawg!

If you're a chocolate orange fan, these bars are made for you. They certainly pack a zesty punch.

To create the fudgy texture of the brownie and ensure your fingers are nice and neat I'd recommend setting your brownies in the fridge overnight before cutting. If you're not too bothered about presentation and just want to dig in, simply allow to cool for a few hours before cutting.

Jaffa Cake Slutty Brownies

Ingredients

• For the cookie dough layer:
• 225g unsalted butter, softened
• 150g soft, light brown sugar
• 200g caster sugar
• 2 large, free range eggs
• 1tsp vanilla extract
• 350g plain flour
• 150g plain chocolate chips
• 15 Jaffa Cakes
• 4tbsp shredless marmalade


• For the Brownie layer:
• 175g unsalted butter
• 175g plain chocolate, chopped
• 175g caster sugar
• 3 large eggs
• 100g plain flour
• 1tsp orange extract

Cooking Directions

1. Preheat oven to 170C and prepare a 9x13" brownie tin, or use a disposable tray.
2. For the cookie dough layer, cream together the butter and both sugars until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing between each addition followed by the vanilla extract. Add the flour and mix until just combined, stir through the chocolate chips. Press the dough into your prepared pan in an even layer. Place the Jaffa Cakes on top of the cookie dough in rows of 3, press down slightly on each biscuit. Spoon little globs of marmalade between the Jaffa Cakes and spread out slightly with the back of your spoon. Set aside while you make the brownie layer.
3. In a large saucepan over a low heat melt the butter and chocolate together. Add the sugar and stir together. Crack the eggs into a large jug and whisk, slowly pour the eggs into the chocolate mixing as you go. Add the flour and stir until the white streaks just disappear then quickly stir through the orange extract. Pour the brownie mixture over the cookie dough layer making sure everything is covered but your don't over fill the tray. Bake for 35 minutes or until just set with a slight wobble.
4. Allow to cool in the fridge over night before cutting into fingers and enjoying.

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Wagon Wheel Brownies

Were you even a British child in the early 90's if you didn't open your lunchbox to reveal a delicious chocolate Wagon Wheel sitting beside your sweaty cheese sandwiches?  They were the golden child of the school diners, kids would try and swap their whole lunch for a Jammy Wagon Wheel. Who wants a pink wafer when you can have the bad boy of the biscuit world.  Fast forward 23 years and I'm still partial, even though I'm pretty sure they have gotten significantly smaller. That or it's just my hands have gotten bigger, who knows.

 

After the success of my Jammy Dodger Blondies I've been on the lookout for more treats I can splice up into my baked goods.  When I saw the recipe for Wagon Wheel Brownies in Olive Magazine I just had to give it a go and cursed myself for not thinking of it first.  

Brownie batter, swirled with lashings of marshmallow fluff and raspberry jam with the periodic hunk of Wagon Wheel. What could go wrong?!  This is a brownie fit for a queen. Turn up anywhere with a tray of these babies and you'll make friends for life. Just don't blame me when they follow you around demanding more.

Wagon Wheel Brownies
( Based on a recipe from Olive Magazine)

Ingredients:

• 375g unsalted butter
• 375g good quality plain chocolate
• 6 large, free range eggs
• 350g golden caster sugar
• 225g plain flour
• 5tbsp marshmallow fluff
• 5tbsp raspberry jam
• 3 Wagon Wheel biscuits, roughly chopped

Cooking Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 170°C and line a 33x23 brownie tin with baking parchment.
2. In a large heavy bottomed saucepan melt the butter and chocolate together over a low heat. Allow to cool slightly. Mix the eggs and sugar together in a large jug and pour into the melted chocolate, mix till combined. Add in the flour and stir until just combined, take care not to over mix at this point.
3. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and smooth out. Spoon blobs of marshmallow fluff and raspberry jam over the brownie batter and marble with a knife. Poke chunks of Wagon Wheel throughout the brownies. Bake for 25-30 minutes or until there is just a slight jiggle in the centre of the pan. Leave to cool completely, preferably overnight in the fridge. Cut into squares and enjoy.

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Dirty Blondies

We've all heard about slutty brownies by now, haven't we?  If not, you must have been living under a rock with your fingers in your ears, singing.  For you rock dwellers, a slutty brownie is a layer of chocolate chip cookie dough, a layer of chocolate oreos topped with a layer of brownie batter.  Filthy right?  Well what about the blondes, they can be just as naughty.  Enter the Dirty Blondie!!

These trampy blighters are just as bad as their slutty cousin, maybe even a touch naughtier!  Here we have a layer of white chocolate chip cookie dough, vanilla oreos followed by a layer of white chocolate blondie.  So sweet, so creamy, so dirty!

Look at those cheeky little vanilla oreos, peeking out of their cookie dough curtain giving you a saucy wink.  How can you resist such sweet temptation. 

Dirty Blondies

Ingredients:

For the cookie dough :
• 225g unsalted butter, softened
• 100g caster sugar
• 250g light brown sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1tsp vanilla extract
• 350g self raising flour
• 150g white chocolate chips
• 18 vanilla oreos
  For the blondie layer :
• 125g unsalted butter
• 225g white chocolate, broken into chunks
• 125g caster sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 150g plain flour

Cooking Directions

1. Preheat oven to 170C and prepare a 20x30 brownie tray, or use a disposable tray.
2. For the cookie dough layer, cream together the butter and sugars until light and fluffy, around five minutes. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing between each addition followed by the vanilla extract. Add the flour and mix until just combined, stir through the chocolate chips. Press the dough into your prepared pan in an even layer. Place your oreos in rows of three on top of the cookie dough. Set aside while you make the blondie layer.
   
3. In a large saucepan over a low heat melt the butter and chocolate together. Add the sugar and stir together. Crack the eggs into a large jug and whisk up, slowly pour the eggs into the chocolate mixing as you go until combined. Add the flour and stir until just combined. Pour the blondie mixture over the cookie dough and oreos making sure everything is covered but don't over fill the tray. Bake for 35 minutes, until just set.
   
4. Allow to cool in the fridge over night before cutting into cute little squares and enjoy.

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Jammy Dodger White Chocolate Blondies

On a weekly basis, I reckon I get through around four packs of Jammy Dodgers, at least.  To me, dipped in a hot cup of tea, the Jammy Dodger is king of the biscuits.  All hail the mighty Dodger, bow down to its supreme jammyness!  We'll not discuss those disgraceful pretenders to the throne though.... I'm looking at you, banana and toffee horrors!

During my last tea and biscuit break I was sat, Dodger in hand, staring wistfully into space when my gaze landed upon a pile of white chocolate blondies.  I should mention at this point that I was at work, I don't just have piles of baked goods surrounding me at home.  Honest!  When it struck me, Jammy Dodger blondies!  What's not to love?!  A creamy white chocolate blondie, swirled with sticky strawberry jam and topped with my very favorite biscuit.  Get in!

I seriously can't even begin to get over how cute they turned out.  I must have shown the steaming tray to everyone who came into the shop that afternoon, eardrums may have been pierced from my high pitched squeal of 'aren't they just so goddamn canny?!'  Imagine them on a mad hatters style tea party, I don't think I could bare the cuteness.

Jammy Dodger White Chocolate Blondies
Makes 15

Ingredients:
175g unsalted butter
250g white chocolate, chopped
250g caster sugar
3 large eggs
1tsp vanilla extract
300g plain flour
3tbsp strawberry jam
11 Jammy Dodger biscuits

Method:
Preheat the oven to 175C.  Grease and line a 9x13" baking tray or use a disposable one.

Melt the butter and white chocolate in a large, heavy bottomed saucepan over a low heat.  Stir constantly until smooth and melted.  In the bowl of an electric mixer add the sugar and eggs and mix until combined and light, pour in the melted chocolate and mix thoroughly.  Add the flour and stir in by hand until just combined.  Pour the batter into the prepared pan.

Drop teaspoons of jam over the blondie batter and use a sharp knife to swirl through.  Place the Jammy Dodgers on top in a neat pattern and bake for 25 minutes until just set.  Allow to cool completely.

Cut into 15 squares and enjoy.  

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Apple Pie Flapjacks

Flapjacks are good for you, right? It's the cake with which we can kinda kid ourselves that we're taking the healthy option, "Oh, I'm watching my weight at the moment. I'll just have a flapjack". I'm in that camp, we'll just ignore the sugar, butter and copious amounts of golden syrup. Oats are our saviour. 

If it were up to me, I'd have thrown some nice plump raisins into the mix. Unfortunately I'm forbidden from adding any kind of dried fruit to my home baked treats by my raisin-hating other half.  He's a work in progress, ten years into our relationship and I finally got him to eat a dried apricot.  I'll take the little wins where I can.  If you have more freedom with your ingredients, throw em in and tell me about it! 

Apple Pie Flapjacks

Makes 12 generous bars

Ingredients:

600g unsalted butter

350g light brown sugar

200g golden syrup

1tsp vanilla extract

700g rolled oats

3 large apples, grated

1tbsp cinnamon 

Method:

Preheat your oven to 160C, grease and line a 20x30 baking tray or use a disposable aluminum tray (I love these).

In a large, heavy bottomed pan melt the butter, sugar and syrup together.  Once melted and combined pour in your oats, grated apples and cinnamon.  Mix until combined and all the oats are coated with delicious buttery goodness.  Spread the flapjack mix in the prepared pan and bake for 20 minutes, until golden brown with a slight jiggle.

Allow to cool in tin before cutting and enjoying.  These keep perfectly for around a week in a cute biscuit tin.

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Pumpkin Pie Bars

It's finally October! Autumn is my favorite time of year, both sartorially and culinary. The month of cosy jumpers without the need for a coat, cute ankle boots with thick black tights and wide brimmed hats. I love it

 More than that, it is finally season appropriate to start putting pumpkin in everything.  From drinks to cakes to a hearty risotto, there's barely a meal goes by in my home that doesn't feature those sweet orange gourds.  I can't be the only one, right?!

Pumpkin pie bars are the perfect way to ease you into the season. Soft and delightfully spiced with a nip of dark rum, these cosy bars will have you dreaming of orange leaves and crisp afternoon air.

Pumpkin Pie Bars

(From Primrose Bakery Christmas)

Ingredients:

Base

140g light brown sugar

100g rolled oats

120g plain flour

150g unsalted butter, cold

Topping

1 can of pumpkin puree (I used Libby's)

2 large, free range eggs

110g caster sugar 

30g self raising flour

1tsp ground nutmeg

1/2tsp ground cinnamon

1/4tsp ground cloves

1/2tsp ground ginger

1/2tsp salt

50ml dark rum

1tsp vanilla extract

flaked almonds

Method:

Preheat the oven to 160C and grab a 33x23cm disposable foil tray (try these) 

To make the base place the sugar, oats and flour in a large bowl and stir together.  Add the butter in and rub together with your fingertips till the mixture resembles breadcrumbs.  Press this mixture into your tray and bake for around 18 minutes, until golden brown.  Set aside to cool while you make the topping.

To make the topping put all of the ingredients, except the almonds, into a large bowl and beat until combined and smooth.

Pour the pumpkin mixture on top of the cooked and cooled base, spreading it out into an even layer and sprinkle with a handful of flaked almonds.  Bake for 20 - 25 minutes, until firm to the touch.  Leave to cool completely before cutting into bars and serving.

I'm submitting this recipe to Lavender & Lovage and The Hedgecombers October Tea Time Treats. 

 

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Sweet Shop Tiffin

Sometimes you create something so filthy, something so naughty you feel you have to hide it from the world.  This chocolatey wonder is like the bastard son of rocky road and tiffin, hidden away in the attic and fed on a bucket of fish heads once a week.  The attic is never a good prison, the undesirables always escape.  Boom, sweet shop tiffin!

Sadly, I can't take credit for this awesome idea.  I was scrolling through Instagram a few weeks ago when I paused on a photo from Crumbs & Doilies showing a majestic square of goodness packed with sweet shop favorites.   Since I'm in Newcastle and they're in London the only thing I could do was make my own.  I headed straight off to the supermarket, filled my trolley with chocolate and sweeties and set about mashing it all together in an unholy union of deliciousness.

These bars can be customised with whatever you enjoy to chomp upon. I filled mine with Double Deckers, Smarties, Toffee Crunches, Kit Kats, marshmallows and Rolos but next time I'm going to add fudge bars and maybe a few Crunchies.

Sweet Shop Tiffin

Ingredients:

325g plain chocolate, chopped

225g milk chocolate, chopped

250g unsalted butter

100g golden syrup

10 bars of your favorite chocolate treats, chopped up

1 bag of mini marshmallows

Method:

Pop both of the chocolates, butter and the golden syrup in a large, heavy based saucepan and melt together over a low heat.

Jumble the chopped chocolate bars and marshmallows together in a large bowl and pour over 2/3 of the melted chocolate.  Mix together until everything is coated then pour into a 20x30 disposable tin, or use a greased and lined brownie tin. Smooth out the top before pouring on the remaining chocolate to fill any gaps and crevices.  

Refrigerate till firm then cut into 16 hunks.  Dust with icing sugar and enjoy your naughty treats.

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